Autumn Cold and Paranoia
by sketched
Summary: SasuNaru and a bit later NaruSasu... Naruto is trying to cope with some insane pain and decides to go with suicide. Sasuke has put it upon himself to keep that from happening. Better than it sounds, I promise... R&R please?
1. Worries and Overdoses

**Disclaimer: I disclaim Naruto…as I do not own it…except in my dreams :D**

**Rating: PG 13 :O**

**Pairings: SasuNaru/NaruSasu**

_**OMG STOREH TIME**_

Frankly, Sasuke didn't know _why_ he cared so much for the dobe. Perhaps it was  
because he felt like he had a reason to hang around Konoha now that he had someone to  
hang around for. Yes, that was part of it…but not the whole reason…Some of it was  
because that dobe depended on him so freaking much. But then he needed some extra  
support from Sasuke ever since the raping. That was it…Sasuke cared for him because  
his dobe's self esteem was at an all time low because of the raping. Sasuke worried about  
him a lot because of that. He also cared for the simple fact that he was Sasuke's only _real_  
friend.

Sasuke thought these quiet thoughts alone as he lay on his bed. _I should_, he thought,_  
go see him tomorrow…maybe take him out for ramen…that would cheer him up…_

Naruto tossed and mumbled and moaned throughout the night.

_ Every night. _

The same damn dream every night. A replay of the night he was raped. In full  
color and very real sound.

**-dream-**

_Naruto strolled quickly down the sidewalk past old buildings, tired from use, and_

_alleyways, dark and beckoning for him to come and explore their deep black hole-like_

_abyss. Satisfied with the three bowls of ramen he'd just devoured at the Ichiraku he was_

_headed back to his apartment around a dark ten-thirty at night. Guard down, the rough,_

_calloused hands that grabbed Naruto's arm took him by surprise and drug him hard into_

_the alleyway from which they came. And that was that. After he'd had his way with the_

_young nin he ran off, leaving the tear-drenched and crumpled boy to fend for himself._

**-/dream-**

"WAAAAHH!!!" Naruto screamed, sitting straight up in bed, and breathing hard.  
He looked around. Bright sunshine poured in through the one window in the bedroom. His  
pillows and blankets were crumpled and tossed about, as they always were after the  
dream. An insanely large pool of sweat flooded the bed in biblical proportions, as it  
always was after the dream. Looking blankly in the mirror above his over –stuffed  
dresser he saw a pale, frightened child looking nervously back at him, as there always  
was after the dream…he missed the old him…the bright, colorful, energetic him that had  
remained in tact until that fateful summer night earlier that year. It was late fall now and  
Naruto could stand it anymore. He had to go see Sasuke again. At least being with him he  
felt safe.

The young Uchiha had undoubtedly grown feelings for the Uzumaki boy. Feelings that streched  
far past friendship. Sasuke, as much as he'd wanted to deny it before, loved the boy. He loved him  
more than anything else on the planet and beyond that. And that was something that nobody but  
himself would understand. Sure Sakura _claimed_ she loved Sasuke, but that was nothing more than  
a crush. Sasuke truly loved Naruto with every fiber in his body and he would do absolutely anything  
and go to any length to get him back to the way he was before. He would kill, and even die himself,  
if he could only see Naruto happy again.

Of course, Sasuke wasn't expecting the dobe to love him back. Not now anyways. Right now  
poor boy probably didn't believe in "love" and frankly, Sasuke didn't blame him. He could only  
imagine the kind of pain he must be going through.

Sasuke pulled on a t-shirt and a navy blue "Uchiha Clan" hoodie over that. Sinking his hands  
into his cargo pants pockets, the Uchiha nin strolled lazily out of his apartment and headed towards  
his friend's apartment complex. He hoped that Naruto was feeling well enough to go outdoors.  
There were some periods of time when the poor kyuubi nin would refuse to leave his apartment for  
weeks at a time. Kakashi, Iruka, and even a worried Gai would often times go by to make sure he  
hadn't committed suicide, though they would never put it in those terms. Sasuke stopped in his tracks.

"I haven't seen him," he recalled out loud, "…in nearly a month…" His jaw dropped slightly as  
thoughts of a suicidal Naruto raced through his mind. Finally deciding that he should find Naruto as soon  
as possible, he began sprinting at full speed towards the boy's apartment.

Naruto, having put on whatever clothes which happened to be lying around, (a black hoodie and  
long jogging pants) was running blindly, teary-eyed, and barefoot towards what he remembered to be  
the way to Sasuke's apartment. He had decided that this would be his last time speaking to his friend.  
The paranoid nin had already taken a big overdose of some sleeping pills he'd been prescribed right  
after the raping to help him sleep and they would quickly take effect and kill him soon. This was his last  
chance to speak to his best friend and strongest rival. He would simply say goodbye and perhaps go see  
Sakura to tell her the same. Then he would go home and lay down until he died. He would finally be able  
to escape all the paranoia and horrible nightmares. He couldn't try to say goodbye to Kakashi or Iruka…  
they would only try to stop him.Thoughts of his senseis swirled about Naruto's mind and then were  
abruptly ended-

-SLAM-

"AAAAH!!" A petrified scream escaped Naruto's mouth as he stumbled backwards.

"Wha-? NARUTO!!" Sasuke grabbed the falling boy's arms and pulled him back up, though Naruto was oblivious  
to what he was doing. He simply kept yelling.

"NO!! NOOO!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERTED FREAK!!"

"NARUTO!! It's ME, Sasuke!! C'mon look at me dobe!!" Sasuke shook the frightened boy by his shoulders  
but tried not to really yell at him, not wanting to scare him evenmore.

"NO!! WAAAAaaaa- wha-?! Sasuke??" Naruto stopped squirming and looked up at Sasuke with a wide-eyed,  
surprised expression. When he saw Sasuke look back at him, rigid and filled with a genuinely worried look,  
Naruto's lips began to tremble and even more tears welled up and overflowed in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Sasuke! I just thought…I mean I wasn't- I didn't know…" Naruto buried his face  
into Sasuke's chest, soaking his hoodie in tears.

Sasuke's expression softened, happy that Naruto finally recognized him. "Don't apologize, dobe…  
it doesn't sound right coming out of you." He reprimanded.

Resting his hands on Naruto's head Sasuke gave him a sort of hug, only to realize that he had passed out._  
Oh God…what if he already tried to overdose?! _He thought, and with that he picked up the shorter boy  
and began leaping from rooftop to rooftop, finding the quickest way back to his own apartment.

Sasuke gently placed the blond nin on his big queen-sized bed. The Uchiha kept it extremely warm in his  
apartment but he knew Naruto kept his a lot cooler so he quickly slipped the boy's hoodie off, revealing his  
battle-scarred chest, slid a thin, white sheet over him, and turned the thermostat down a couple of notches.  
Sasuke then slid a chair up to the bedside and did the only thing he could think of to do to comfort his sleeping  
friend. He slid his hands over Naruto's and held it just tight enough to warm it from the frigid autumn cold.

OMG END CHAPPIE 1

Yes? No? Waffles? Sorry it was kinda slow at the start...it'll get better I promise...


	2. The first thing we must do

**Dis: I hear my Naru, I see my Naru, but I do not own my Naru…**

**Chapter 2!!- The first thing we must do.**

**WARNING- bits of bad language ahead…you have been warned!!**

**a/n- Ok hopefully this chapter will be a bit more organized…that last one was a mess… x-x  
**

* * *

The room temperature had dropped from a steamy 83 degrees down to 75…right around where Naruto kept his apartment temp. Sasuke, however, was quite cold, not being used to his place being less that 80 degrees. But despite the now cooler temperatures, Sasuke noted, Naruto was beginning to sweat at insane levels. More than he had ever sweat during training or even in a full on battle. It felt as if his hand was going to melt into Sasuke's. Then, as if being stabbed to death…or something of the sort…Naruto began screaming so loud that his voice cracked and only horrifying stifled squeaks would manage to escape his throat. He clenched his fists, trapping Sasuke's hand in a painful death-grip.

"Ho' shit!!" Sasuke cursed as he clamored onto the bed and sat on Naruto's lap. He shook the blond and yelled in his ear, trying desperately to wake him.

"Naruto-kun!? NARUTO!!! WAKE UP DAMNIT!!" All of the raven-haired nin's efforts were lost. Unable to think of anyway else to wake the screaming boy from his nightmare, Sasuke did the only thing he knew how to do. He pulled Naruto against his body and wrapped his arms around him as tight as possible. Now Naruto was simply screaming into Sasuke's shoulder and Sasuke, wanting only for his friend to wake up from whatever horrible nightmare he was having, breathed shaky-voiced words into his ear.

"Naru-kun… wake up…God, please wake up…for me? Wake _up_, Naruto…for _me_?! Don't leave me alone Naruto…I won't let you. I'll have to kick your ass if you leave me here by myself! I- …….I'm sorry Naruto…I should have been there to protect you. God, now I can hardly live with myself because I let something like that happen to you…" Sasuke, in spite of himself, was now in tears and spilling out what ever thought came to his mind, clinging to Naruto and cursing himself, "Damn it all…Naruto… you _can't_ die yet dobe! What about being Hokage huh?? Just think, if you die some other guy is gonna take that from you…your _dream_. And what about Sakura-chan? You're her _friend_ dobe! She'll never forgive me if I let you die…hell, she'll kill me…and think of Kakashi and Iruka…_Iruka_…you know he won't be able to go on in life if he knows that the closest thing he has to a son is dead…and Kakashi…well who knows _what_ that pervert will do…and …me…" Now Sasuke was yelling almost as loud as Naruto. He tried to tone his voice down some as Naruto seemed to be calming down. (for one thing, his screams were actually audible instead of petrified squeaks…)

"…What about me?? Huh?! What the hell am I supposed to do without you? Who am I gonna spar with!? Who's gonna argue with my smart-ass comments!? Who's gonna finish my ramen when I get full?!? Damnit! Who's gonna be my best friend!?!? Nobody can replace you Naruto!! You're all I've got! I _NEED_ you! YOU. CAN'T. DIE. ON. ME!!!" Sasuke pulled the blond away and looked closely at him to see if he would wake.

In mid-scream his eyes flashed open and instinctively his head shot forward, slamming Sasuke in the chin. "AAA-…OW!" Naruto yelped after a scream cut short. He looked up at a shocked Sasuke and immediately flung his arms around the Uchiha boy's neck and started crying into his shoulder. "God, tell me it's over! Just please Sasuke…tell me it was a dream and it didn't just happen again! Every night Sasuke…I have the same damn dream every night…just please tell me it's never real" Suddenly it all came together for Sasuke. It wasn't the raping itself that made the boy turn so introverted. It was the dreams he had every night that made him relive the incident all over again. For months Naruto had relived being raped every single night.

Sasuke returned the hug, gently running his hand over Naruto's scarred and bruised back. "It was dream Naru-kun. I promise it was all just a dream."

"Sasuke…you woke me up…how did-? I mean that was the first time the dream didn't finish itself…but I took the pills…I should have been dead…Sasuke why did you wake me up!? I didn't ask you to!! I was finally gonna be rid of those dreams and you woke me up with all that stuff you said about needing to protect me and me being the Hokage and Sakura-chan…and sensei and you…you said you needed me…why?"

"…Because I do need you, Naruto. Dobe, I love you. And I can't let the one person left on this God forsaken planet that I really love die just 'cuz some bastard screwed him over." Sasuke, having kept his love for Naruto a secret from everyone for so long, felt relieved that he could get that off his chest so easily.

"You…you _love_ me?"

"Yeah…love…"

"I…I'm sorry…I know I should love you back…and I think I do…but I don't know…it's like-"

"-like you don't even know what love is anymore."

"Yeah…how did-?"

"That's exactly how I felt after my clan was destroyed. But what you and I lost is totally different. The loss of a family creates scars that while they may heal, they will never go away. You lost…yourself…and every night that scar is reopened and never allowed to heal over. I learned how to love again when I met you. But your scars have been reopened so many times…it doesn't surprise me that you haven't been able to love. But, dobe, I'm going to be your teacher. You're going to learn how to love again if it's last thing you ever do. And the first thing we have to do is-"

Naruto leaned upwards and caught Sasuke's lower lip between his own.

"Well I was going to say "get you out of the house"…" Sasuke was taken aback by Naruto's sudden outburst, but enjoyed the light warmth that lingered on his lips.

"I'm sorry…" Naruto suddenly felt bad for doing such a thing. He should have known better.

"No, it's okay…really…I don't mind." Sasuke looked off to his right, trying to avoid eye contact with the bare-chested boy before him. He felt his face turn a bright red. A kiss was the last thing he expected from the boy.

"You didn't want a kiss…I'm sorry…I shouldn't be allowed near people…"

"Hey…don't say crap like that dobe…I did want it…you just caught me off guard that's all…it was good though. Really."

Naruto, for the very first time in months, grinned his big, goofy, grin. "That sounds like something I would say, Sasuke-kun!"

"It's good to see you smile again…I missed your smile. You were starting to make Hinata's shyness look like nothing compared to you. But you've got a long way to go before you're back to normal and I think I have an idea to help you recover from this…and maybe even stop those dreams."

"Really? God, you don't know how much I miss being me!"

"Yeah…I can tell…well c'mon dobe. Let's get started." Sasuke got up off the bed and dug his hands into his pockets and once more, lazily strolled out of his apartment, Naruto close behind.

* * *

**a/n- NO, this is not the end of the fic…I promise…I had fun with this though…dunno why…there will be humor soon!! Hopefully!! It won't always be so serious and full of drama…**


	3. Training and Aprons

**Dis- If I owned Naruto I would probably be filthy rich…which I'm not…so I don't**

**Chapter 3- Training and Aprons**

**FBI Warning- there will be language in this…don't like it? Go away.**

**a/n/of doom- Well…I can promise you that this will be an interesting chapter…Sakura, Kakashi, and a few other characters will show up. We may even learn a little secret about Ino (I promise it will connect with the story)… ;D…it's all good…**

* * *

It was already noon by the time the two boys had reached their old training grounds. The sun hung bright in a cloudless sky but most of its rays were lost in the wind chill. Sasuke had picked up two big arm guards that the academy teachers used when teaching their young pupils the basics of punching and kicking. Now he stood, hoodie removed, in his under-shirt and cargo pants, a short distance away from Naruto, who was standing awkwardly and trying to figure out why Sasuke would bring out those old things from years ago.

"Now Naruto," Sasuke said, "I know this may be hard for you to think about but I need to know: Who did it?" He didn't have to clarify. Naruto knew exactly what the Uchiha was saying.

He thought for a moment and replied, "I honestly don't know, Sasuke. I got a good look at his face but he wasn't anyone I had ever seen in Konoha. He was real big though. You remember that Zabuza guy we fought a couple years ago? He was like his size…except more…uh…muscle-ie-ish."

"Alright…I know you're pissed as hell at this guy, I am too… so we're gonna get revenge. I'm gonna get you back in ninja shape and we're gonna track this guy down and rip his throat out!"

"HELL YEAH!!" Naruto was getting more and more excited by the second.

"Ok…but before we can brush up on you're jutsus you need to let out some of that bottled up rage." Sasuke dawned a defensive stance, using the big body length arm guards to hide himself. "Now I want to look at these arm guards and imagine that they're who attacked you. Now is your chance to metaphorically beat the shit out of h-"

Before Sasuke could even finish his sentence Naruto had charged forward and began to "beat the shit" out of his metaphorical attacker. With every punch and kick Sasuke's feet slid backwards just a bit, and for half an hour it went on as so, Sasuke speaking words of encouragement and taunting every now and then, "good Naruto" or "too slow, you need to be faster" or "you're lagging, pick up your feet"…and then Sasuke stopped him-

-----------

Up in the trees a curious Kakashi peered silently down on the two boys. This was the first time in quite a while that he'd seen Naruto outside…and now here he was, not only outdoors, but outdoors training with Sasuke of all people. He watched closely as the blond boy attacked the guarded Uchiha boy. He observed for nearly twenty minutes until he was spotted-

-----------

"Naruto…take a break…" Without question the blond followed orders and sat down on the worn and weather-browned grass, panting and dripping with sweat. "Kakashi…" the young sharingan nin inquired, "You can come out of the trees now. You're not nearly as stealthy as you used to be…and it shows."

An agitated Kakashi dropped from the tree. "How long have you known I was there?"

"Since the moment you got here."

Kakashi sighed, "Ahh…I guess you're right Sasuke…I'm not getting anywhere with stealth skills like that. So, Naruto, it's good to see you out and training. Felling better are we?"

"Omaesan, Kakashi-sensei!Yeah, I'm getting there." Naruto replied with a weak smile.

"Good. Sasuke…could I speak to you…alone?"

"…Uh, sure."

Kakashi pulled Sasuke over a ways behind a tree. "You told him, didn't you?"

"What?"

"You finally told Naruto."

"What are you talking about?"

"About your gayness."

He didn't have to put it so blunt. Sasuke felt his face heat up. "You've lost it!"

"You did… I can tell."

"I take that back…I don't think you ever had it!"

"I knew all along Sasuke. Don't pretend I don't know."

Sasuke knew he wouldn't win this fight. "…Fine. I did. Now get your ass out of here."

"I'm telling Sakura-chan." Though his face was hidden behind his mask, Sasuke knew that Kakashi was grinning evilly…he'd never let rough-and-tumble Sasuke live this down.

"WAI-" Sasuke leaped forward to catch Kakashi but the copy nin had already left.

"Damn."

-----------

"Oi, Sakura-chan!" Kakashi waved to the pink haired girl standing outside of Ino's flower shop.

"Oh! Kakashi-sensei! Omaesan!"

"I have news for you Sakura."

"Really?"

Kakashi leaned over and whispered in Sakura's ear the secret Sasuke had kept for so long. Sakura left herself for a moment and stood stunned. Then came the effect that Kakashi so dearly wanted to see.

"OH HELL NO!!! Kakashi that is a LIE!"

" 'Fraid not Sakura. It's the honest truth. Sasuke told me himself!"

"…INO!!!"

A troubled looking Ino popped out from her shop. "Sakura!? What's wrong?"

"INO. EMERGANCY. FOLLOW. NOW."

And without anything else spoken the two girls headed for the training grounds. Kakashi left in a giggle-fit at all the trouble he was causing.

-----------

"Sakura, not that I'm complaining about seeing Sasuke training in an extremely thin t-shirt looking a million times hotter than usual, but _why_ are we watching the boys train?"

The two girl nins were hiding in a bush looking out into the field as the boys continued to train.

"Ino…Kakashi-sensei just told that Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun are _gay_ … _for each other_…"

"Really!? Oh how cute!"

"INO!? You should be appalled by this!! We spend every fiber in our bodies fighting over Sasuke and when we find out he's gay you're _EXCITED_!!??"

"Oh I know I should be horrified but what can I say? I have a fetish for gay boy couples…they're just so cute!!"

"Ino…you sicken me"

"Sakura-chan. Ino-chan. We can see you!" Naruto pointed out looking over to the girl's bush cameo. The two girls squealed and shrank back. Sakura then jumped up and ran over to Sasuke, grabbing his arm.

"SASUKE!! TELL ME IT ISN'T SO!! Kakashi-sensei was lying right!? RIGHT!?!"

Sasuke sighed and shoved the girl off his arm. "No, Sakura-chan…he wasn't…now if you girls would so kindly let us go, I need to make dinner. Go away please. " And with that, Sasuke motioned for Naruto to follow him and the two boys headed back to Sasuke's apartment.

"NOOO!!! SASUKE!!!" Sakura collapsed into a tantrum on the ground. Ino was simply giggling at notions of a gay Sasuke.

-----------

"There's a pull-out sofa in the living room. You can sleep there." Sasuke said to Naruto who was sitting quietly at the breakfast bar attached to Sasuke's mini-kitchen. The raven haired nin was shuffling food around on the stovetop, which was emitting a delicious smell. Naruto took careful note of Sasuke's appearance as he cooked. He was now wearing a casual t-shirt instead of the undershirt he was wearing for the training. He was still wearing his cargo pants but now he had an aqua blue apron tied neatly around his waist and neck and he kept his long bangs tucked behind his ears, something he had never seen Sasuke do. Finally Naruto had to ask.

"Sasuke?"

"Hmn?"

"Do you always wear that apron when you cook?"

"Have you ever seen a food stain on my clothes?"

"Well …no…now that I think about it."

"Dobe."

Naruto got up from the bar and went around to stand behind Sasuke while he was cooking. When Naruto saw that he wasn't doing anything potentially dangerous he wrapped his arms around Sasuke's stomach.

"Gah! Naru-kun, I'm cooking! It's hard to cook with you clinging to me." Sasuke said in an aggravated but amused tone of voice.

"Thank you for helping me."

"No big deal. Just trying to get you back to normal that's all."

After the two had eaten a well-prepared meal (teriyaki ramen, rice balls, and an assortment of sushi rolls) Sasuke retired to his bedroom, changed into his boxers, and crawled into bed. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep he perked at the sound of a light knocking on his bedroom door.

"Mmhm…" He mumbled as a sign to come in. One eye open he saw a worried looking, boxer clad Naruto creep into his bedroom.

"Sasuke-kun?" He whispered.

Sasuke sat up. "Yeah, what's up?"

"Could I…um…maybe sleep with…you?"

He knew exactly what Naruto was asking but he couldn't help but cock an eyebrow at the boy's question. It was the way he worded it, that's all.

"No! Not like that!" Naruto turned bright red, "I mean…uh…sleep in the bed with you…it's just I kind of feel safer when I'm with you and well-"

"Dobe?"

"Yeah?"

"Get over here."

"Ok." Naruto climbed into Sasuke's big, warm bed and nervously scooted under the thick comforter. Sasuke lay back down and smiled at Naruto, who in turn gave him a big grin and snuggled right up against Sasuke.

"You sure you're ok with me sleeping here?"

"It's nice to have someone else in the house."

"I mean right here in your bed with you."

"Oh that? I'm enjoying that as well, I guess." Sasuke blushed. He really didn't want to sound like a pervert but that's the way it came out.

"Yeah? So am I."

* * *

**End chapter 3!! Long chapter yes? But It accomplished what I wanted it to. :D Just a quick definition-**

"**Omaesan"- Japanese for "hey" I figured it was a good change from the overused "ohayo" or however you spell it XD chappie 4 coming soon!**


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